The Asylum of the Grave.

Well, where to fucking start. Indeed the past 10 hours have been full of oddities, almost as if an omnipotent power is fucking with me. That's right the past night has made me doubt my stalwart atheism! I even used an exclamation point! Twice! Well, now three times.

Chronological order seems appropriate, though it may not build to a climax. Sort of like cumming and then getting a boner afterward, losing the erection and then having sex. Something like that.

The Daub-Mobile has a leak somewhere in it's cooling system, a "radiator" I beleive it is called. I have to fill it with water every time I drive it, lest it overheat and leave me stranded, forcing me to take it up the ass from drunk frat guys in the back of a Hummer Limo, just to get to work. This may also lead to me being sold into the international sex-slave trade, but I digress.

It is aprroximately 12:30am, I am in my monkey suit, white collared shirt, Ill-fitting vest (apparantly anyone as tall as me must also be fat so they had a team of crazy, loud, asian ladies try to alter it. They needed a fucking step ladder to take the measurements...that's another rant), and cheap polyester black dress pants. I have the hood of my car open and I'm pouring water out of an old vodka bottle into my "radiator." I have three such bottles, sitting on the curb.
Who should come upon me, but a dark stranger.

"That's a waste of good drinking vodka, man," the stranger tells me.

Now, before I go on, I must emphasis the fact that it's pitch black dark outside, and this guy must have had some ninja training, cause he moved without a sound, despite his obvios homelessness.

After I arrest my heartrate somewhat, I look at him incredulously, and say waht anyone might say, "What?" I ask.

"Why...in the hell...are you pourin' Vodka into your car, dude?"

This is when he vomits on the grass behind me. It is the worst smelling puke I have ever encountered. The smell hit me on my next breath and I almost tossed my breakfast. THe first bottle emptied and I grabbed the second, wanting to leave but, with my task as yet unfinished, was unable.

The guy finished wretching out the rotten eggs he had for dinner (marinated in diaharrea surely, man I just realized I don't know how to spell ...liquid shit), and he stood up. THe violence of his episode made me think he had gone to his knees, but he had mearly bent over slightly. He wiped his mouth, and proceeded with or conversation.

Second bottle...half empty....

"Wow, dude, are you alright?" I asked, clearly uninterested in the answer, but I had know idea what to do.

"Whh...why are you wasting that vodka...ka...vodka. You're car can't get drunk, caaaaan it?"

Bottle empty, exit strategy approved, proceed to escapr point bravo.

I reached up, closed the hood, and then picked up the third bottle, full of water.

"You want this, man, my car...has had enough, I guess," I said.

The man lit up, "Suuure, I'll take it..."

I threw the bottle a little behind the bum and darted for my door. The last I saw of him was in my headlights to the soundtrack of the Bad Astonaut song, "Single." He was smiling and holding the bottle aloft, giving me the thumbs up.

Then I got to work. My anal virginity intact, though curious.

To be Continued.....

End Transmission.