I'm back! Feet solidly entrenched on the terra firma of the good old US of A! It sure feels good to smell freedom in the air once again!
Unfortunately, I returned to find the freedom of internet access I usually enjoy has been stricken from me. I have pictures to post and stories to tell, but for now, due to technical difficulties, you'll have to settle for a quick summery and your imagination.
First, thanks to Heidi, Scott, and Dusty (Melbourne's #4 top bloke!) for having me in their home, none of them read this, but I say thanks nonetheless. I'm sorry for Kelly's behavior....I don't like to travel alone and she was the only person i could find on such short notice.
Swimming with sharks. Explaining to foreigners about how embarrassing it is to be an American right now. Fighting the great and terrible Turtlesaurus in the dark depths of the barrier reef. Teaching hot Russian chicks how to use photoshop. making fun of Canadians. Ringing up the biggest beer tab on the boat. Pub crawling throughout Melbourne and magically loosing weight and feeling no hangover. Aussie rules football, meat pies and beer. Learning sweet chili is no substitute for salsa. Everything in Australia comes with fries, even Chicken Parmeasen, Melbourne's fave dish. Creation of about 100 inside jokes that no one else will ever find funny. Aussie cats can apparantly teleport through locked doors. Ausralian Sea Hippies respect a bloke who can make fun of himself. Even non-sea hippies respect a good sense of self deprication. Australia has the world's surliest customer service.
I tried my best, but I could only reach an Aussie Cultural Assimilation factor of 85%.
I'm a Big Girl's Blouse.
Stickin' it in and hoping for the best, Cheers Dude!
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