Unlucky Stuntman.

I usually try to keep this shit funny and light hearted. Right now...I'm kinda addicted to the expression of this medium. I don't mean to bring you people down, and you are all surely very unused to any sort of non-sarcastic sincerity in this blog, but someone I care deeply for was diagnosed with cancer today.

This person is my age, and it's kinda fucked me up a little bit. Ironically, recently had a conversation about Kharma with a girl at work. I told her thaT I thought the concept of kharma was bullshit, because my life experience has taught me that good things happen to bad people and bad things happen to good people. Shit happens, there is no reward, no deserving including in the calculations.

This person is one of the most kind hearted people I have ever known, though this person certainly has a dark side, as we all do, but...goddammit. I am left without a schematic, no chart to show me the right course. There is nothing I can do, I am powerless, the worst feeling there is. Why is someone who has such a positive influence on the world, stricken down, while someone like me, so useless and mired in the morass of mysanthropy, left perfectly healthy?

There is no why. That is a question that we invented, it cannot be answered because "why" is a motive that we create, but it has no actual value or answer. I wish there was a God I could blame, curse, and blaspheme against, but there is none. Nothing happens for a reason, it is biology, chemestry...physics. Fuck, I hope she will be ok. It's all I can do, and it sucks.

I've never been so angry at the truth.

end transmission.